I am a sports fan - I will watch pretty much anything - rugby, cricket, football, baseball, etc. I have had the privilege of watching several of these sports from inside a stadium. As any true sports fan will tell you, very often the best moments, the ones that build up the excitement and give you a true understanding of the sport, are the moments in between the actual action. Watching a rugby captain rally his team before the scrum, a football team waiting to enter the stadium, and then discussing strategy before kick-off or the on-field discussions between overs in a cricket match.
Well, Sony TV, with all their "official telecaster" money to recover went one step too far during the recently concluded Australia vs The Rest "World Cup". No sooner was the over be called, SONY swung into action educating us on the reasons why VISA would somehow affect our "Mind, Body, Heart & Soul". I mean - WTF???
It got worse. They come back from the break and see that the bowler has been switched and some new chap is practicing his bowling action. Immediatement, SONY gives us a dose of another brand or doubles up our VISA pleasure. We come back from this unwanted second break to see the bowler already reaching the crease (the entire runup has been missed). The ball is hurled towards the batsman who dodges it like a live handgrenade. We immediately get to enjoy a large banner across the top of the TV screen talking about how Bharatmatrimony.com will get us all married ASAP. This ad manages to cover the face of the batsman who was either grinning or mouthing an obscenity (so no idea if I should be happy or getting fired up). The bowler reaches his crease and hurls another grenade which is despatched from the field. An idiotic tiger leaps out, does a loud bhangra (can we pls hear some other kind of music) and starts dancing and screaming. No idea what the commentators are saying, no idea what the crowd is cheering. I know we have a retarded tiger dancing for his life on my screen. The ball takes more than 10secs to return to the field...so...off we go with VISA again "Min, body, a$$ and ....."
Goddammit..$hit...WTF...
I am a sports fan and I am a proud Indian. I love the fact that we have the richest, most powerful cricket board in the world. I (unlike the BCCI and some other whining ninny Indian "fans") dont care if Tendli promotes tires or Dada promotes Viagra. Good for them - Indians finally getting their due.
But, this is where we started losing control. The BCCI starts charging a hellish amount for the various series. People use unethical methods to win. They are forced to try and recover these funds and join in the moneyfest that is modern-day cricket. Cricketers and brands are seen everywhere and all the time. The ugly side of capitalism. I pray we gain control of it fast, before we sell our very souls.
But what SONY did was worse than anything I have seen anywhere. Even in Aussieland and the US (bastions of advertising driven sport), the sport and enjoyment of every second of it is sacred. You screw around with 1 second of a superbowl prep huddle before the game, and you will be staring at the business end of the mother of all lawsuits. Consumers want to see the game. If we see better quality TV (with more angles, etc.) because of all the money surrounding the game, good! But, dont take away the actual game.
I feel SONY should be fined and made to apologize to the Indian cricket fan. Regulation might be the only way to keep these greedy TV channels in check and forcing them to show us the damn game. This may work to push down what they are willing to pay for rights. This in turn may drive down BCCI revenues slightly, and push some of their ego down. But other than that I see no "negative" side effect.
Professional sports are entertainment for the masses. If we dont see the damn game, we are not entertained!!!! SONY - bad show. You managed to f$%^ up a pretty f'd up World Cup.
I pray that when India starts winning again, I can atleast see the look on Gilchrist's face when he is struck by a Zaheer bouncer. I pray for that with my "Mind, Body, Heart & Soul"
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Friday, April 13, 2007
What kind of animal is an MBA?
I spent this week having several exhaustive career discussions - my own, my wife's and my sub-ordinates. This was Annual performance review week at my company and we all were judged for our performances and set ourselves nice unattainable goals for the year to come.
During this process, I spent a good time analyzing my career - the past, the present and the future. I also had a couple of discussions about my MBA and how it shaped me.
This most infamous of all degrees seems to carry a certain aura with it. The mere mention of it is sufficient to generate an emotion. Respect, awe and loathing seem to be the most common ones.
Being a passionate naturalist, I like to imagine people as animals. While many observers make the mistake of giving animals human-like emotions (eg. cunning like a fox), I go the other way. "Doesn't that man look like a mole-rat?" - a classic example of a question uttered by yours' truly resulted in a poor chap at my ex-company being labeled the "mole rat".
This week got me thinking about us MBAs. What animal best represents us? I did a very unscientific survey of some subjects who are VERY prone to bias and got some answers:
1. Tiger (because we are aggressive)
2. Hyena (because we pick on the weak)
3. Elephant (Because thats the size of our heads)
4. Peacock (because we prance around like them)
5. Salmon (because we always seem to be swimming in the wrong direction)
All, very interesting indeed....and in some cases, just a wee bit insulting.
However, I decided to examine my own classmates. They seemed to have the above characteristics all right. But they seemed to have something else in common. An emotion which is perhaps a result of the above characteristics. We are all RESTLESS.
All of us think we need to rule the world. We must be the next Arthur Keller (a little snooty inside joke for my fellow INSEADers out there - give it up for "ze Camembert" y'all). We jolly well better be running a big show and changing the world.
Sadly most of us aint in a position to match that expectation. So, we get restless. We move, and quite often, we move again. Within the company, outside the company, outside the country, outside the continent.... Time and again, we switch positions yearning for that perfect job. Many of us are very good at what we do, but it just never seems enough.
The challenge seems to be - curb your insatiable thirst for instant gratification, and show some damn patience! But damn-it-all....I know I am better than this!
So, this brings me back to my central point. We might be super-arrogant, aggressive, prancing, counter-current swimming hyenas, but in all reality there is only one creature which could be a perfect metaphor for an MBA.
Aw heck - we are nothing more than a swarm of butterflies! Flitting from one pretty flower to
the next, in the never-ending quest for the perfect nectar. Sad though this might be, the arrogant MBA in me has two things to say:
1. This life is short (like a butterfly's) - we might as well enjoy the variety.
2. At least we made it to the butterfly stage and didn't get stuck as caterpillars!
During this process, I spent a good time analyzing my career - the past, the present and the future. I also had a couple of discussions about my MBA and how it shaped me.
This most infamous of all degrees seems to carry a certain aura with it. The mere mention of it is sufficient to generate an emotion. Respect, awe and loathing seem to be the most common ones.
Being a passionate naturalist, I like to imagine people as animals. While many observers make the mistake of giving animals human-like emotions (eg. cunning like a fox), I go the other way. "Doesn't that man look like a mole-rat?" - a classic example of a question uttered by yours' truly resulted in a poor chap at my ex-company being labeled the "mole rat".
This week got me thinking about us MBAs. What animal best represents us? I did a very unscientific survey of some subjects who are VERY prone to bias and got some answers:
1. Tiger (because we are aggressive)
2. Hyena (because we pick on the weak)
3. Elephant (Because thats the size of our heads)
4. Peacock (because we prance around like them)
5. Salmon (because we always seem to be swimming in the wrong direction)
All, very interesting indeed....and in some cases, just a wee bit insulting.
However, I decided to examine my own classmates. They seemed to have the above characteristics all right. But they seemed to have something else in common. An emotion which is perhaps a result of the above characteristics. We are all RESTLESS.
All of us think we need to rule the world. We must be the next Arthur Keller (a little snooty inside joke for my fellow INSEADers out there - give it up for "ze Camembert" y'all). We jolly well better be running a big show and changing the world.
Sadly most of us aint in a position to match that expectation. So, we get restless. We move, and quite often, we move again. Within the company, outside the company, outside the country, outside the continent.... Time and again, we switch positions yearning for that perfect job. Many of us are very good at what we do, but it just never seems enough.
The challenge seems to be - curb your insatiable thirst for instant gratification, and show some damn patience! But damn-it-all....I know I am better than this!
So, this brings me back to my central point. We might be super-arrogant, aggressive, prancing, counter-current swimming hyenas, but in all reality there is only one creature which could be a perfect metaphor for an MBA.
Aw heck - we are nothing more than a swarm of butterflies! Flitting from one pretty flower to
the next, in the never-ending quest for the perfect nectar. Sad though this might be, the arrogant MBA in me has two things to say:1. This life is short (like a butterfly's) - we might as well enjoy the variety.
2. At least we made it to the butterfly stage and didn't get stuck as caterpillars!
Friday, April 6, 2007
Dal, bikinis and coke - oh my!
Everyone who knows me, knows I love watching TV, and have always wanted to work in media. I have flirted with working there, but have not quite got there yet.
Well, my team needed to spend yesterday screening TV channels to understand where we should advertise and where we could get max bang for our marketing bucks.
The scene: An under-renovation office of our media-buying agency.
The protagonists: 3 startup marketing folks + 2 media buyers
The target: 8 TV channel groups representing 12 TV channels in total
The hook: Our next TV spends
We all sat on one side of a long table, ready to poke, prod and interrogate the TV channel folks who would sit on the other side of the long table. The stale smell in the air, the moderately lit room - it all conjured up images of a KGB interrogation.
H (in a commanding tone): "Sit down, Mr. TV channel guy!"
TV Channel guy: "Sure thing, Mr. H. It's a pleasure to meet you. I have always wanted..."
H (in a condescending tone): "Yeah, yeah, whatever...now lets get down to brass tacks!"
H (after ominous pause): "I want a gazillion exposures of my 30s commercial. I want this for near nothing. And you will give it to me! Why? Because I damn well say so!"
Team after sorry team took the hot seat and were subjected to this line of discussion. We were particularly harsh on the ones who seemed overly (or unreasonably) cocky! This is what happens to big co. execs who come to the negotiation table with a team from a startup, and for once the bargaining chips (i.e. money) are on this side of the table.
"Muhahahahahaha!"
Sorry, but I felt the scene called for an evil laugh.
That is not to say that some did not get away from our harsh line of "negotiation". There were exceptions of course. My fav channel is Discovery T&L, and when they walked in, yours truly was not harsh at all. Heck, I was too busy trying to whack their programming guide. What a beaut!
Another tragic incident came around lunchtime. We had been going non-stop for 4 hours and had met 5 tough teams. Lunch had finally arrived and was brought into the conf. room. Just as we marvelled at the 20 odd containers of oily dal, greasy veggies, rotis and pulao, one of our media buyers pounced. Now, this chappie has been often at the wrong end of our price negotiations. He took this opportune moment to exact an unusually cruel revenge.
He brought in one of the key TV channel teams, just as our team dug into the chow. There we were...oily dal spilling all over the table, mouths full of chewy rotis and totally incapable of properly introducing ourselves to the "victims", leave alone question them. What a deft move, and that too by our own media buyer. Nice!
Well, we slobbered through the nego, and I think we might actually still do business together. Not our finest moment.
We were on a roll by now, and had mastered some of our stories. Like any day of serial-meetings, we soon could not stand the $hit coming out of our mouths. We had this one line "We are like coke & pepsi. Don't put us in the same channel band as our competition!" This line had been repeated ad nauseum, and by evening, we were in splits every time the line was uttered. Lord alone knows what the folks in the by now not-so-hot seat were thinking. It was probably something like this -
TV channel person: So, we think we could slip you into slot XYZ and sponsor program ABC...
Someone on our team: We must mention that we....well, we are like in a very competitive market...(snickering begins)....
Our team continues: ...We see ourselves, well, honestly..quite like Coke & Pesi (loud snickering all around)
TV channel team (looking confused by the snickering, and probably thinking "These startup people are so immature, but damn they have SO MUCH VC money"): Sure, sure, we will keep this in mind. Can we then get your entire TV budget?
Our team: That's some good stuff you're smoking. Why the heck would we wanna do that? (by this point, all on this side of the table are laughing and back-slapping).
Anyway, fortunately, everyone there was after OUR cheque-books, so I guess - no harm, no foul.
The final straw came with TV channel team #8. They had done a decent job pitching their growing channel, and we had explained the types of programs we want to associate with. We all seemed to be headed in the same direction until this happened.
H: So, I think we have explained that we would like to be associated with serious programming and nothing too frivolous. We are a small brand and need to be careful in protecting the overall brand image. What program would you recommend?
TV channel dude (looking very serious): I think the last 20 mins have helped me understand you well. I recommend you sponsor "Bikini babes", our progr.....
Our media buyer (busily pushing the guy out of the room): No fit, no fit here...
H (ripping up the dude's biz card): Hey, thats show biz. One minute you're in, the next you're out on your a$$. (I probably thought of myself as a casting director just after the last candidate had a royal goof-up)
Well, that pretty much summed up the day. Every major TV channel in India met us in the dingy conference room. Some were smart, some not so much. Some captivating, and some induced a snorefest.
The only thing that kept me sane on such a long day was my imagination. It reminded me that I need to be grateful. Grateful that my life truly is a cartoon strip. Everything has a tinge of humour and that allows me to laugh off days like this. Its just difficult sometimes to tell what really happened, and what part my mind conjured up!
Well, my team needed to spend yesterday screening TV channels to understand where we should advertise and where we could get max bang for our marketing bucks.
The scene: An under-renovation office of our media-buying agency.
The protagonists: 3 startup marketing folks + 2 media buyers
The target: 8 TV channel groups representing 12 TV channels in total
The hook: Our next TV spends
We all sat on one side of a long table, ready to poke, prod and interrogate the TV channel folks who would sit on the other side of the long table. The stale smell in the air, the moderately lit room - it all conjured up images of a KGB interrogation.
H (in a commanding tone): "Sit down, Mr. TV channel guy!"
TV Channel guy: "Sure thing, Mr. H. It's a pleasure to meet you. I have always wanted..."
H (in a condescending tone): "Yeah, yeah, whatever...now lets get down to brass tacks!"
H (after ominous pause): "I want a gazillion exposures of my 30s commercial. I want this for near nothing. And you will give it to me! Why? Because I damn well say so!"
Team after sorry team took the hot seat and were subjected to this line of discussion. We were particularly harsh on the ones who seemed overly (or unreasonably) cocky! This is what happens to big co. execs who come to the negotiation table with a team from a startup, and for once the bargaining chips (i.e. money) are on this side of the table.
"Muhahahahahaha!"
Sorry, but I felt the scene called for an evil laugh.
That is not to say that some did not get away from our harsh line of "negotiation". There were exceptions of course. My fav channel is Discovery T&L, and when they walked in, yours truly was not harsh at all. Heck, I was too busy trying to whack their programming guide. What a beaut!
Another tragic incident came around lunchtime. We had been going non-stop for 4 hours and had met 5 tough teams. Lunch had finally arrived and was brought into the conf. room. Just as we marvelled at the 20 odd containers of oily dal, greasy veggies, rotis and pulao, one of our media buyers pounced. Now, this chappie has been often at the wrong end of our price negotiations. He took this opportune moment to exact an unusually cruel revenge.
He brought in one of the key TV channel teams, just as our team dug into the chow. There we were...oily dal spilling all over the table, mouths full of chewy rotis and totally incapable of properly introducing ourselves to the "victims", leave alone question them. What a deft move, and that too by our own media buyer. Nice!Well, we slobbered through the nego, and I think we might actually still do business together. Not our finest moment.
We were on a roll by now, and had mastered some of our stories. Like any day of serial-meetings, we soon could not stand the $hit coming out of our mouths. We had this one line "We are like coke & pepsi. Don't put us in the same channel band as our competition!" This line had been repeated ad nauseum, and by evening, we were in splits every time the line was uttered. Lord alone knows what the folks in the by now not-so-hot seat were thinking. It was probably something like this -
TV channel person: So, we think we could slip you into slot XYZ and sponsor program ABC...
Someone on our team: We must mention that we....well, we are like in a very competitive market...(snickering begins)....
Our team continues: ...We see ourselves, well, honestly..quite like Coke & Pesi (loud snickering all around)
TV channel team (looking confused by the snickering, and probably thinking "These startup people are so immature, but damn they have SO MUCH VC money"): Sure, sure, we will keep this in mind. Can we then get your entire TV budget?
Our team: That's some good stuff you're smoking. Why the heck would we wanna do that? (by this point, all on this side of the table are laughing and back-slapping).
Anyway, fortunately, everyone there was after OUR cheque-books, so I guess - no harm, no foul.
The final straw came with TV channel team #8. They had done a decent job pitching their growing channel, and we had explained the types of programs we want to associate with. We all seemed to be headed in the same direction until this happened.
H: So, I think we have explained that we would like to be associated with serious programming and nothing too frivolous. We are a small brand and need to be careful in protecting the overall brand image. What program would you recommend?
TV channel dude (looking very serious): I think the last 20 mins have helped me understand you well. I recommend you sponsor "Bikini babes", our progr.....
Our media buyer (busily pushing the guy out of the room): No fit, no fit here...
H (ripping up the dude's biz card): Hey, thats show biz. One minute you're in, the next you're out on your a$$. (I probably thought of myself as a casting director just after the last candidate had a royal goof-up)
Well, that pretty much summed up the day. Every major TV channel in India met us in the dingy conference room. Some were smart, some not so much. Some captivating, and some induced a snorefest.
The only thing that kept me sane on such a long day was my imagination. It reminded me that I need to be grateful. Grateful that my life truly is a cartoon strip. Everything has a tinge of humour and that allows me to laugh off days like this. Its just difficult sometimes to tell what really happened, and what part my mind conjured up!
Dawn of a new blog
Well, here goes...
After over a year blogging on Yahoo! 360, this will be my start on Blogger. I have blogged on this platform during our Europe trip back in 2004, so I cant wait to try some of the new innovations.
For those who wanna read my past blogs -
http://360.yahoo.com/vk.hari
After over a year blogging on Yahoo! 360, this will be my start on Blogger. I have blogged on this platform during our Europe trip back in 2004, so I cant wait to try some of the new innovations.
For those who wanna read my past blogs -
http://360.yahoo.com/vk.hari
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