Father of the babe is me

Easily the most life-changing event of my life. M and I became parents in the most dramatic fashion.

The scene: A typical friday morning

The protagonists:

1. M (on her way to appointment #2,345,678 with the Gynaec)

2. The gynaec (a "to the point" lady who we really respect)

3. Hari (at a board meeting trying to impress board members)

4. Pebbles (the heroine who was on her way)

Lights....camera....ACTION!

With about 10 mins to go for my turn in front of the board, M sends me an SMS "Its happening now. I am being admitted now. Please come soon."

HVK: "Whaaa???"

With his brain whizzing, Hari calls M and confirms the news. The baby is locked and loaded. She is on her way out. OMG!

With his brain in this mode, Hari proceeds to meet the much-feared "board". With his mind in lala land, he commits the impossible, smiles at every blow dished out and bows in theatrical fashion to conclude a very average board meeting. Making his excuses, he sprints out the conf. room and dashes for the car.


HVK(on phone): "Sekar - bring the car around...pronto!"

Sekar: "Enna Saaar??" ("What sir?")

HVK: "Car...bring...now!"

Sekar: "Ess saar....grympalagog" ("Yes sir...grympalagog (undecipherable nonsense)")


HVK with crazy Sekar at the wheel dashes to Lilavati Hospital.
M is 2cms dilated (gory details always on this blog), and is beginning to experience the much-hyped "contractions".
WTF Hari, why are you not there yet??? I know why, ol' "Left Sekar Leffft" is at the wheel.

HVK: "Faster Sekar...its urgent"

Sekar: (stoic silence)

HVK: "STEP ON IT, YOU DIRECTION-IMPAIRED LUNATIC. A TRAINED MONKEY COULD GET ME THERE FASTER!"

Sekar: "Right edthukunoman?" ("Do i need to take a right?")

HVK: "(bleep) you (bleep)"

Sekar: "Why didn't you say that in the first place, crazy man?"

We reached around 1pm and found M calm and checked in to the 11th floor super-duper extra-primo luxury floor of Lilavati. (note to self: must nego for raise on Monday)

Then begins the wait!

TIME: 2PM

Gynaec: "M is dilated but no progress...see you in 2 hours."

M: "Its beginning to hurt..."

Gyny: "And so it should. See you in 2 hrs. Nurse - do the NST every 10 mins until i say stop"

(Break for explanation:
NST: Stress test to check if the contractions result in the baby progressing down the delivery canal.
End of break.)

TIME: 4PM

Gyny: "M has made marginal progress but still a few hrs to go. Normal delivery still poss. Lets not rush."

M:"Thanks doc" (Thinking: I love this woman. So in control. No rush for C-section.)

Gyny: "Keep those NSTs going nurse. See you after my interview on TV."

TIME: 7PM

Exact same conversation as above.

TIME:9PM

And again.

TIME: 11PM

Gyny: "Ok, now we really need to ask ourselves - could we be doing something more fun. I know I could. I will give it till 2am. If you aint ready, we may have to move to option 2"

M:"Ok."

Gyny:"Nurse.."

Nurse:"Yeah, yeah, i know. Freakin NST."

TIME:2AM

Gyny:"M, Hari - I think the baby is healthy but tired. We need to get the li'l rascal out and we should not wait anymore. I am going to recommend emergency c-section"

M/HVK: "Okie doke." (Thinking: Pls let this go well)

TIME: 2.45AM

HVK(In changing room - thats right, I'm getting kitted up to go see my girl get cut up. ): "Where do I scrub in, doc? Where the f%^& are the face masks? Wheres Zack Braff when you need him?"

TIME: 3.10AM

Gyny (through surgi mask): "Come in Hari. M is prepped. You need to keep her calm."
HVK (stepping into real Op. theatre for 1st time & pretending to look brave): "Yes doc."
Gyny: "And Hari, you faint in there and I will post the video on YouTube."

HVK (sitting next to M's head as the surgery starts): "I love you M. Stay calm. Im here."

TIME: 3.25AM, Saturday, July 14, 2007, Lilavati Hospital 1st floor OT, Bandra(W), Mumbai, India.

Gyny: "Congratulations."

HVK: "Stay calm M. I'm he....whaaa already??"

HVK (standing up): "What is it? Boy or girl?"

Gyny:"Girl, of course"

HVK/M (with broad smiles on both faces):"Good!" (Thinking: Good, we didnt have a good boy name anyhow!)

Asst. Gyny (making tiny baby kiss M's face): "Here's your beautiful daughter!"

HVK: "Dont worry M. I will be here till they complete." (Thinking: I need a strategy to keep boys away from my baby girl. She's a looker and boys are baaaad)

TIME: 5.55AM, Back in the uber-luxury room. M is back, all sewed up and in recovery. M's mom looks relieved. HVK is exhausted and has managed to get out of his "scrubs".

HVK: "M, I would like to introduce you to your beautiful daughter - Antara. I will call her "Pebbles"."


So, that my friends is the story of Pebbles. Her entry into our lives, the 15 hours of labour her mom went through for her, and the story of how a hugely successful and confident MBA - me - became a nappy-changing, baby-butt-powdering, 3am lullaby singing, daddy of the babe!

(PS: Antara in Sanskrit means "From within. From the heart.")

(PPS: Pebbles in Sanskrit means absolutely nothing.)